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A little Christmas humour


dlbalr

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I was at a hockey game the other night, and they always put a joke at the back of the program. This time, it was a Christmas one, and I found it to be quite good, unlike the hockey game. So, here it is, my apologies in advance if anyone finds it offensive, but you all should get a kick out of it:

Christmas Story for People Having a Bad Day...

When 4 of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves didn't produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that 3 of them were about to give birth and 2 had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress!

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then, the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Now, about the game. It featured the Kincardine Bulldogs and Penetang Kings. The Bulldogs' goalie wore #60; I later discovered it was in tribute to Jose Theodore. I found it quite strange having to cheer against the Bulldogs, and a Theodore fan, but alas I did, but the Bulldogs won anyways. On the plus side, I won $100 during the 2nd intermission, as I shot a puck from centre ice through a 4 inch slot on a board covering the net, the first person to do so in 2 years.

I have another joke from one of these programs, insulting the Leafs, but I'll post that one later.

[Edited on 2004-12-29 by puck7x]

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Originally posted by dlbalr

On the plus side, I won $100 during the 2nd intermission, as I shot a puck from centre ice through a 4 inch slot on a board covering the net, the first person to do so in 2 years.

You serious? Wow, cool lol!

Well, it's not 1 million, but still, 100$ is not bad

1st in 2 years? Nice. Congrats :clap: :/)

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