Jump to content

The Adventures Of Peter Breakfast


EMELINATOR

Recommended Posts

August 26, 2005

Today I start ed my train ing program for the up com ing sea son. Coach told me to do some lift ing ex er cis es. Apparently, I have a lot to work on. I lift ed 100 barrel of cheap wine into a truck headed for Den ver. I was not told where these barrel where head ed, but I do believe Patrice had some thing to do with it. We drank 5 bottle of this same wine, the day he got back from France. I remember that day fond ly. Pat wore a how do you say, lamp shade on his head. He told me he thought Andreas purposely left a bunch of his cds back in San Jose. I actually think he did him a favour in a way. Listening to Roch Voisine records was really effect ing his de fen sive play.

I will have fresh bagels in the morning with jam.

Peter Breakfast

[Edited on 2005/8/26 by Grocery Jesus]

[Edited on 2005/8/26 by Grocery Jesus]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by Trizzak

...what the hell did I just read?

:?-:?-:?-:?-:?-:?-:?-:?-:?-:?-:?-:?-:?-:?-:?-

I'm asking myself the same here. It was vaguely resembling humour... if you looked at it under a certain angle... kinda...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't get it.

What does cheap wine have to do with Patrice Brisebois going to Denver?

Why do I care that Andreas Dackell purposely left his Rich Voisine cds in San Jose?

Why some of the words spread out li ke th is?

And who the hell is Peter Breakfast?

This either went over my head or under it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, Grocery..., I woke up at 5 am and thought I think I'll close my eyes for a bit and then I'll go for my 5 K walk (I hope my team's players are in as good a shape as I am for training camp.) All of a sudden, it's past 6:30 - too late (that's an excuse) for my walk. :eyes:

So, I get up, put on my shorts (usually I walk around naked), get a box of granola cereal (that I shouldn't really been eating - and I eat too much of it), sit down on the sofa, boot up my Dell laptop and start doing my fun stuff (sorting out my email & especially reading, reacting to you guys and, of course, making decisions that would make Bob Gainey call me and give me thanks and offer me 10 lifetime lounge seats in any building which the Canadiens call home and those seats are transferable to my descendents to the 14th generation). :king:

I turn on the TV (stupid clicker isn't working near as well since it fell on the floor for the umpteenth time and that little plastic think is clinking around inside it (I wonder if the cable company will exchange it for free - I only make 3.2 million per year so it'll be tough if they make me pay for it). :puke:

My wife's dog, Charlie the grumpy psychotic jerk poodle, keeps walking into the living room to see what's going on and, when he sees me, he goes back into the kitchen to pout & go emotionally comatose. (he doesn't like me and, you know, it's mutual). :nono:

Now, I gotta bring my wife to work... did you hear that Charlie? My wife! not yours! MY.. WIFE!!!! :mad:

;):lol:;)

[Edited on 2005/8/27 by shortcat1]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HEY!

Let's hear some other funny 'adventures' from some of you guys and gals. It could be a great change of pace and it would be a riot to read too. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OK. Knock yourself out:wall:

So, the other day, John Travolta was eating a pineapple. I walked up to him and said "Hey, I know you. You're John Travolta. It rhymes with the Mars Volta!"

Then he said to me "Well, I never noticed that before."

But I wondered why he was eating a pineapple and I eventually asked him. He told me they didn't have apples so he ordered a pineapple. "But why didn't you just get a Snapple?":?- He wasn't too smart.

So we kept on walking until we saw Wade Belak in an alley slashing everybody that passes by with his hockey-stick. There was a big riot at the Cavendish Mall because apparently some nut called Todd was jumping on everybody in the food court. Me and Jojo (I like to call him Jojo) went to the food court to order some Snapple. I called my friend Gino and thought that since he had an Italian name maybe he could stop this Italian (Bartolini?) from stealing my Snapple. Gino came and beat Bartolini to the ground and maybe a few feet lower.

Then Jojo got trapped in the Snapple machine so I went to Swaziland to conquer the hippos. I like hippos.

When I got there Jan Bulis was waiting and told me that you can spell "typewriter" on only the first row of a typewriter/keyboard. He sure is cool. He eventually got grabbed by a monkey:monkey: and disappeared in the trees. I rode home on a hippo and when I got there I practiced reading my leap frog book. I dreamt of californication. I wonder what californication means...:?-

Jimmedy Cricket there are leaping lizards in my portrait of Jeez Louise!!!!

THE END

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometime during the night, the Mississippi River overflowed because too many people were spelling her name wrong.

Then all of a sudden there was a bright light, and out of it stepped... Martha Stewart and Michael Jackson.

Turns out that they had become friends in prision, and had now sworn upon a willow tree, that they'd fight evil everywhere.

However, they could not console the Mississippi River because... well because it's just a river.

So realizing they were just wasting there time, and there were real people in danger, Michael said "Beat it", and Martha went off with her Tuperware helmet.

When reached for comments on the incident, Batman and Robin had just enough time to say, "HELP, THE WAX IS HARDENING... CALL....." right before their current enemy managed to cover them in well, you guessed it, wax.

But have no fear! Michael and Martha are here!

They rushed into the room, and Michael did the moonwalk for about 5 mintues. While his attackers got hypnatized and eventually fell into a deep sleep, only to dream of milking cows.

Meanwhile, Martha acted much more quickly, using Tuperware tops of assorted sizes as ninja stars to defeat the Wax man. She then took Batman and Robin home with here, and sold the life-size figurines on E-Bay.

By the way, by the end of this, half the United States had been covered in water due to the Mississippi's overflowing. Everyone now lives in parts of Mexico and Canada.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by Bulis_the_Habbie

OK. Knock yourself out:wall:

So, the other day, John Travolta was eating a pineapple. I walked up to him and said "Hey, I know you. You're John Travolta. It rhymes with the Mars Volta!"

Then he said to me "Well, I never noticed that before."

But I wondered why he was eating a pineapple and I eventually asked him. He told me they didn't have apples so he ordered a pineapple. "But why didn't you just get a Snapple?":?- He wasn't too smart.

So we kept on walking until we saw Wade Belak in an alley slashing everybody that passes by with his hockey-stick. There was a big riot at the Cavendish Mall because apparently some nut called Todd was jumping on everybody in the food court. Me and Jojo (I like to call him Jojo) went to the food court to order some Snapple. I called my friend Gino and thought that since he had an Italian name maybe he could stop this Italian (Bartolini?) from stealing my Snapple. Gino came and beat Bartolini to the ground and maybe a few feet lower.

Then Jojo got trapped in the Snapple machine so I went to Swaziland to conquer the hippos. I like hippos.

When I got there Jan Bulis was waiting and told me that you can spell "typewriter" on only the first row of a typewriter/keyboard. He sure is cool. He eventually got grabbed by a monkey:monkey: and disappeared in the trees. I rode home on a hippo and when I got there I practiced reading my leap frog book. I dreamt of californication. I wonder what californication means...:?-

Jimmedy Cricket there are leaping lizards in my portrait of Jeez Louise!!!!

THE END

Bulis the Habbie, I must say, you captured the essence of Belak perfectly:clap:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Little Jimmy was so tired, that he decided he needed a quick fix. So he walked to his corner store to buy some cereal made of vitamins and carbohydrates.

By the time he got home, he realized that the walk had made him even more exhausted. So, without much further hesitation, he ripped open the box of Vector cereal. Inside to his astonishment, he found a Prize!

"Wow, I never win!?" exclaimed Mr. Jimmy.

His 83-year-old mother ninja rolled into the kitchen in fear of an invader. However, to her dismay, she saw only Little.

"What's all ye yelping 'bout boy! You darn got Miss Fritz in an uproar!" screeched the irritated woman.

Miss Frits was Sylvie's, Little's mother, cat. It had been in a tragic incident where it lost it's will to live. (Probably from the way Sylvie over-enthusiastically "pet" her.) So the cat was often seen trying to jump off the roof.

But those darn cats, they alwayz land on their feet, so poor Miss Fritz hadn't even used up one of her 9 lives yet. Well there was that time when the milk man.... lets not get into that just now.

So after the quick energy fix, Little went up to his room. However, instead of giving him endless amounts of energy, it did the contrary. Mr. Jimmy passed out before even completing his climb up the stairs.

The next day, Little woke up in a cold sweat after having a terrible nightmare about Martha Stewart and Michael Jackson. He was though, quite relived he had some nice cool water to wash away the sweat.

"Wha, where's this all water coming from!?" wondered Little as he began to float up into his attic.

[Edited on 28/8/05 by Macaskill]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'll try and right a story in smilies

:)-:hockey:- :devil:

:devil:-:king:-:hockey:-:clap:-:bow:

:devil:-:-^-:)

:)-:(-:mad:

:)-:idea:

:)-:hockey:-:hockey:-:hockey:-:contract:-:hlogo:

:hlogo:-:king:-:hockey:-:clap:-:bow:

:)-:-^-:devil:

Let's see who can interpret it...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by Bulis_the_Habbie

:)-:hockey:- :devil:  

Eric Lindros is a hockey player, but not many people know, he's also the devil

:devil:-:king:-:hockey:-:clap:-:bow:

As the devil, he is also prince of darkness. And since he was an angel of sorts, he's an amazing hockey player, and the Leafs think he's amazing.

:devil:-:-^-:)

Once Eric Lindros expires his average human lifespan, he'll go back to hell to be king of the underworld (again), thus giving the proverbial bird to the smiling idiots in Toronto.

:)-:(-:mad:

These idiots will realise they've been tricked, and become angry

:)-:idea:

But then the idiots will have an idea. A great idea!

:)-:hockey:-:hockey:-:hockey:-:contract:-:hlogo:

By signing lots of other great players, like Jason Allison, Pavel Bure, Al MacInnis and Scott Stevens, they can win the Stanley Cup! (Sorry, those were the only names I could think of whose careers have been also been ruined by injuries).

Unfortunately, everyone knows hell will freeze over before the Leafs win another cup. And that damaged goods aren't good for hockey teams.

Well, everyone knows this except the said Leafs fans.

:hlogo:-:king:-:hockey:-:clap:-:bow:

The Habs, however, will trade for Jesus (reincarnated in the guide of Sidney Crosby), whose amazing hockey skills will amaze and delight Habs fans for years.

:)-:-^-:devil:

The Habs fans will then give the proverbial bird to their nemesees (?) in Toronto, as well as (for the still-angry-Quebecois) Eric Lindros, Prince of Darkness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

:eyes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That was pretty good.... now try this one.

:hlogo::contract::hockey::hockey::hockey:

:clap::ghg::clap::ghg::clap:

:(:mad::idea:

:contract::monkey::monkey::monkey:

:devil::contract::(

:monkey::monkey::monkey::o

:hockey::hockey::hockey: :/)

:devil::-^:(

:hlogo::hockey::puke::monkey:

:(:wall:

:devil::contract::-^

:(:o:wall:

:hlogo::king::clap::clap::clap::ghg:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not quite. I'll edit your answers with the right ones.

Originally posted by TheAussiePosse
Originally posted by Bulis_the_Habbie

:)-:hockey:- :devil:  

:) is just a random guy. Let's call him Joe. Joe plays hockey with a mean guy. Let's call him Jack.

:devil:-:king:-:hockey:-:clap:-:bow:

Jack wins the hockey game. The fans applaud him and he receives bragging rights.

:devil:-:-^-:)

He uses his bragging rights and makes fun of Joe.

:)-:(-:mad:

Joe gets mad and starts to cry.

:)-:idea:

Suddenly, Joe got an idea.

:)-:hockey:-:hockey:-:hockey:-:contract:-:hlogo:

He practiced hockey non-stop until the Habs signed him.

:hlogo:-:king:-:hockey:-:clap:-:bow:

The Habs won the Stanley Cup (Kings of Hockey) and the Habs fans cheered for them and had a parade. Joe received bragging rights.

:)-:-^-:devil:

Joe used his bragging rights and makes fun of Jack.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

:eyes:

As for the new one, I have no idea.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...