Pierre the Great Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 My life sucks. Partly my own fault but it truely sucks. I have to work nights and do school work at night, I could get more personal but I don't want to here. Have you ever thought you were missing out in life? I do. I hate it here and can't seem to get out. I'm 20 years old and I'm stuck in a hole that never goes away. Or better yet its like that movie groundhog day, this nightmare just repeats and repeats. If I could do it all over again I would but I wish I was born in Canada. I don't know why I just feel like I belong there. What also sucks is when your best friend lives in a different country and you can't visit her in person because of it. ugh, anybody in my situation or have been in it? 20 and haven't gone to university because well I had to help out my family in order to survive. Sucks, I was suppose to go places now everyone else is travelling the word experiencing life and here I am stuck in a basement. Where's the light I need one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dark_faerie87 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 My life sucks. Partly my own fault but it truely sucks. I have to work nights and do school work at night, I could get more personal but I don't want to here. Have you ever thought you were missing out in life? I do. I hate it here and can't seem to get out. I'm 20 years old and I'm stuck in a hole that never goes away. Or better yet its like that movie groundhog day, this nightmare just repeats and repeats. If I could do it all over again I would but I wish I was born in Canada. I don't know why I just feel like I belong there. What also sucks is when your best friend lives in a different country and you can't visit her in person because of it. ugh, anybody in my situation or have been in it? 20 and haven't gone to university because well I had to help out my family in order to survive. Sucks, I was suppose to go places now everyone else is travelling the word experiencing life and here I am stuck in a basement. Where's the light I need one. Don't worry, sometimes I wish I was born in a simpler time when technology and commericialism/consumerism didn't run rampant. But alas, here I am, in the 21st Century whether I like it or not. But it could be worse. I could have been born in a Third World country, I could be living in poverty, never having anything to eat. But I don't. I live a good life where I am. I have no right to complain. The grass is always greener on the other side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre the Great Posted October 23, 2006 Author Share Posted October 23, 2006 I wish I had your outlook. I always talk about Seattle but my family can't afford it. I have to go to a place that offers some kind of athletic scholarship but that is small enough that they'd take me even though my grades were never the best. lol my best option is just becoming a construction worker and moving somewhere maybe to Canada. lol, what a waste for PTG I was never meant to go that route in life. I was orginally suppose to be the 'religious one' in the family become a pastor or what not. oops, had a falling out with religion. I'm the smart one who can't get past his past mistakes. ugh, i'm pathetic. I hate those Staples commericals with the 'easy button' those piss me off because life isn't easy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dark_faerie87 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I wish I had your outlook. I always talk about Seattle but my family can't afford it. I have to go to a place that offers some kind of athletic scholarship but that is small enough that they'd take me even though my grades were never the best. lol my best option is just becoming a construction worker and moving somewhere maybe to Canada. lol, what a waste for PTG I was never meant to go that route in life. I was orginally suppose to be the 'religious one' in the family become a pastor or what not. oops, had a falling out with religion. I'm the smart one who can't get past his past mistakes. ugh, i'm pathetic. I hate those Staples commericals with the 'easy button' those piss me off because life isn't easy. It's not so much an outlook, but rather an acceptance and thankfulness that things aren't any worse. I recommend you read "Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard" by Thomas Gray. One of my all-time favourite poems. You'd probably enjoy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre the Great Posted October 23, 2006 Author Share Posted October 23, 2006 No its more of an outlook. My outlook has always been dark and gloomy. I guess thats what happens when you've battled years of depression for most of your life atleast thats what I've learned from other people who have had the disease. The story of my life can be summed up in Travis "why does it always rain on me" pathetic I know my counselour right now would be saying I'm using excuses but telling it to go away just doesn't work anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dark_faerie87 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 No its more of an outlook. My outlook has always been dark and gloomy. I guess thats what happens when you've battled years of depression for most of your life atleast thats what I've learned from other people who have had the disease. The story of my life can be summed up in Travis "why does it always rain on me" pathetic I know my counselour right now would be saying I'm using excuses but telling it to go away just doesn't work anymore. Look, I battled depression all thoughout high school. I was suicidal. I had no friends. I cut myself. But then I realized that yes, my life wasn't the greatest and sure, it could be better, but it could also be a lot worse. You just need to be able to accept yourself for who you are and be the best that you can be. But never compromise yourself, always reach for the stars, but don't get discouraged if you can't quite reach them because one day you will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetsniper Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Look, I battled depression all thoughout high school. I was suicidal. I had no friends. I cut myself. But then I realized that yes, my life wasn't the greatest and sure, it could be better, but it could also be a lot worse. You just need to be able to accept yourself for who you are and be the best that you can be. But never compromise yourself, always reach for the stars, but don't get discouraged if you can't quite reach them because one day you will. Sounds like my best friend. Well, with the exception of no friends. I guess he battled depression all through junior high and into grade 11. Grade 11 is when he started cutting and thats when the rest of us really started to get weirded out. Although I'm sure coming to terms with the fact he was gay would've been difficult. Probably even worse to come out of the closet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dark_faerie87 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Sounds like my best friend. Well, with the exception of no friends. I guess he battled depression all through junior high and into grade 11. Grade 11 is when he started cutting and thats when the rest of us really started to get weirded out. Although I'm sure coming to terms with the fact he was gay would've been difficult. Probably even worse to come out of the closet. Yeeeahhh, coming is not fun. But once you're out, it's usually fine. People are a lot more accepting now than say ten years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetsniper Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Yeeeahhh, coming is not fun. But once you're out, it's usually fine. People are a lot more accepting now than say ten years ago. Yep. Later I was told that I was the one he was dreading telling the most because I told a lot of gay jokes at school. Nothing offensive, just jokes I found funny. Although I can see how I could come across as a homophobe at the time. It's funny, he messages me on MSN and says "I have something really important to tell you. You might hate me after this". Now see, I thought he was gonna tell me he was dating my crush at the time or something. Wow, was I way off. When he told me he was gay, I was relieved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLP Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 PTG you seem resigned yet you are just 20, hehehe that's young, man! There are changes you can and will make in your life, there are opportunities out there. I was much older than you and driving a cab for chrissakes, made some choices, took a few chances and now I live smack in the center of the world's biggest city and make a decent living doing what I want, and travel a bunch too. Try to look beyond your present situation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutch_Habs_Fan Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Yeah i have to agree with JLP, 20is way to young to rest your case. There will be many opportunities to follow, also luck has a part with it. But for most Dedication! Offcourse it's shitty at times, but these dark holes will be needed to come better out of it. It will always make you stronger. It's looks like a co-incidence but im not depressed but far from the happiest part in my life. My contract at the company i worked wasnt extended. It sucks having less money now, but i also think i wasnt there at the right place. I studied Logistics and since 2004 i'm an Engineer now, but i worked way under my level. Did have some good colleagues, but the job was crappy. You know I really loved the education i had, i was very good @ it, and it looked like it was meant for me. But now i'm not sure if i did the right thing, i thing the job's you can get with this education are not suitable for me. But i'm 27 and i think its to late to go to a normal school again (working/studying is not good for me) and get another degree. So i'm kinda stuck @ what i want in my life. The past few weeks i had my house to put all the work in so the problem was a bit out of my mind. But with my house almost finishing i have to make some decisions. Or i take a temporary job and so i have some time to think it all over. Right after Highschool i wanted to study History (but i didnt cause i thought i would never get a proper job with that, i wish i would have done it anyway), now i find journalism very interesting. Well PTG, your not the only one with probs, everybody has some time in life that things dont go as planned. But i still believe it makes you stronger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trizzak Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 ugh, anybody in my situation or have been in it? 20 and haven't gone to university because well I had to help out my family in order to survive. Sucks, I was suppose to go places now everyone else is travelling the word experiencing life and here I am stuck in a basement. Where's the light I need one. I didn't go to college till I was 21. So you have tons of time...1 year to be exact. After 21 you're pretty much a gauranteed failure if you haven't gone to university or college. (kidding, of course) Any idea on what you'd go to school for? Anything in particular stopping you from going to school? Anything in particular stopping you from moving to Canada? Anything in particular stopping you from going to school in Canada? Considering the brain (and body) drain from Canada to the US, I'd suspect it would be possible to get an athletic scholarship to someplace in Canada (assuming, of course, you are a good player.) Have you looked into these things? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shu Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I wish i hadnt move from Canada when i was 6. I wish i had stayed their instead of moving to Denmark and France. I know you guys are prob think, why wouldnt you want to live in Paris or Denmark........ But my life was hockey my favorite thing was always hockey, i learned to skate at 2 and started playing hockey at 5. Then we moved to denmark and they basically had no hockey, so i played in an 11 year old leauge wich sucked, then France sucked for hockey, so when i moved to the US i sucked at hockey............ I believe if i had stayed in Canada i would be about 100x better then i am right now , I just i wished i could be good at hockey, I mean im on a Varsity highschool team but its not Midget AAA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KoZed Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 ugh, anybody in my situation or have been in it? 20 and haven't gone to university because well I had to help out my family in order to survive. Sucks, I was suppose to go places now everyone else is travelling the word experiencing life and here I am stuck in a basement. Where's the light I need one. I was'nt supposed to be born but here I am. I wasn't supposed to make it to 7 yrs old but here I am. I thought I'd never see my 14th birthday but here I am. I never thought I'd make it to 18 but here I am. I thought I'd be gone before my 25th birthday but here I am. The light is right where you are. The light is your own life. Its a tiny and frail candlelight, and sometimes you might think that the winds are so strong they'll blow the flame out, but they won't. No matter how bad winds seems to get, not as long as you shelter your light. Tough times are, well, tough... but its also a wonderful opportunity to learn, grown, get stronger. Its like finishing in the basement of the league. You dont make the playoffs, but you reap high draft picks that'll pay off big time sooner or later. Damn, this is early for philosophy and sports analogies... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shu Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I was'nt supposed to be born but here I am. I wasn't supposed to make it to 7 yrs old but here I am. I thought I'd never see my 14th birthday but here I am. I never thought I'd make it to 18 but here I am. I thought I'd be gone before my 25th birthday but here I am. The light is right where you are. The light is your own life. Its a tiny and frail candlelight, and sometimes you might think that the winds are so strong they'll blow the flame out, but they won't. No matter how bad winds seems to get, not as long as you shelter your light. Tough times are, well, tough... but its also a wonderful opportunity to learn, grown, get stronger. Its like finishing in the basement of the league. You dont make the playoffs, but you reap high draft picks that'll pay off big time sooner or later. Damn, this is early for philosophy and sports analogies... ummmmm........... Yeaaaahhhhhhhh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
habs_in_the_blood Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I wish I had your outlook. I always talk about Seattle but my family can't afford it. I have to go to a place that offers some kind of athletic scholarship but that is small enough that they'd take me even though my grades were never the best. lol my best option is just becoming a construction worker and moving somewhere maybe to Canada. lol, what a waste for PTG I was never meant to go that route in life. I was orginally suppose to be the 'religious one' in the family become a pastor or what not. oops, had a falling out with religion. I'm the smart one who can't get past his past mistakes. ugh, i'm pathetic. I hate those Staples commericals with the 'easy button' those piss me off because life isn't easy. take it easy there big fella!my friend just left for alberta to work...and he's making mad money im talking 2000-3000 bucks a week working in construction cause they need alot of people cause they are building a whole city i think...either for the olympics or something im not sure but ill i know is that he is cashing in the checks and as nothing there to spend it on...maybe you should try this ...you'll be in canada....making money ..then when you save enough you either come to montreal or to toronto or back home...at least youll have a feeling of accomplishement done... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bebehabs Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 everything happens for a reason... u'll have ur glory moment... dunno when... but it will happen as for me, my life sucks too... it all depends on how u look at it... everybody have their own lil problems... just take it as it comes i dunt think i would be happier if i was sumthing else, or someone else... of course i would love to have lots of money and enjoy my life... but then... i would maybe miss sumthing else... gotta appreciate what we have and work hard to get what we want! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre the Great Posted October 23, 2006 Author Share Posted October 23, 2006 Okay thanks guys and gals, here's the basic full story. I've battled depression since I was in grade 4. Had three major break downs during my school years was taken out of school and put on 'medical' leave. lol. 2 years ago during my senior year in high school I basically 'dropped out' to help out my family survive. I'm 20 and I'm still in high school. I've been taking internet courses for 2 years to get my diploma. I'm almost done have 1 more class to finish should be finished by Christmas, finally. Sports scholarship, I'm a rower. I'm 6'7 people love me. The school I want to go to that wants me badly apparently is a division III school. No athletic scholarships. My grades aren't the best because I was never challenged in school except for history. I only found that class and english worthy of my time. Wasn't interested in anything else, I guess thats my ADD in me. I'd go to Canada in a mili second but my high school GPA isn't the highest. The other problem is that I'm sorta love sick for a girl in Vancouver, BC. See I've never had a girlfriend before and there's a giant hole in my heart because of the neglect. Hate going to family get togethers or places where families are present because my brain goes: "You can't have that PTG (as in family/love)". I cry a lot. The problem is this woman is 7 years older then me and has a long term boyfriend. Oh well, first girl that actually likes me as a friend can't be too bad right? Problem is when your best friend lives in another country you get lonely. ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athlétique.Canadien Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I have always wished to be Hugh Hefner with the powers of Superman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dark_faerie87 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Okay thanks guys and gals, here's the basic full story. I've battled depression since I was in grade 4. Had three major break downs during my school years was taken out of school and put on 'medical' leave. lol. 2 years ago during my senior year in high school I basically 'dropped out' to help out my family survive. I'm 20 and I'm still in high school. I've been taking internet courses for 2 years to get my diploma. I'm almost done have 1 more class to finish should be finished by Christmas, finally. Sports scholarship, I'm a rower. I'm 6'7 people love me. The school I want to go to that wants me badly apparently is a division III school. No athletic scholarships. My grades aren't the best because I was never challenged in school except for history. I only found that class and english worthy of my time. Wasn't interested in anything else, I guess thats my ADD in me. I'd go to Canada in a mili second but my high school GPA isn't the highest. The other problem is that I'm sorta love sick for a girl in Vancouver, BC. See I've never had a girlfriend before and there's a giant hole in my heart because of the neglect. Hate going to family get togethers or places where families are present because my brain goes: "You can't have that PTG (as in family/love)". I cry a lot. The problem is this woman is 7 years older then me and has a long term boyfriend. Oh well, first girl that actually likes me as a friend can't be too bad right? Problem is when your best friend lives in another country you get lonely. ugh. So you're a rower, eh? My roommate would love you. Anyways, if grades are a problem, I would highly suggest the college route. Take one or two years at a local community college. It's a lot cheaper, grades don't matter, and the teaching is more one-on-one as opposed to one-on-three-hundred. Then you can transfer to a university and get a degree in whatever. The opportunity is out there, you just need to find it. As for the girl problem, well I've been there before too...kind of. She was a year older than me and lived in Colorado. I don't really want to go into it, but basically she was the first person who actually "liked" me. Then she dumped me and I was all heart-broken and emo for a good six months. But then I realized that she didn't make me happy. She was just a dumb girl who I'd probably never meet. I realized that I needed to make me happy. Nobody but yourself can fill that "hole" inside yourself. You can try, but ultimately you will fail...every single time. Just be yourself and be happy with who you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre the Great Posted October 23, 2006 Author Share Posted October 23, 2006 thanks dark, I'm taking a class at my local community college. But I hate it here I must get out! So I'm only looking at the Pacific Northwest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shu Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I love the pacific Northwest, like Seatlle and Oregon, you could move to Tacoma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre the Great Posted October 23, 2006 Author Share Posted October 23, 2006 Thats where the school that wants me is at Tacoma. The problem is I don't know if my family can pay the tution fees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dark_faerie87 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Thats where the school that wants me is at Tacoma. The problem is I don't know if my family can pay the tution fees. I don't about in the States, but you can get student loans in Canada. You could also apply for bursaries (given to needy students, good grades not required). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre the Great Posted October 23, 2006 Author Share Posted October 23, 2006 yeah they give out loans. The Canada programs stuff though only applies to Canadians. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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