Jump to content

Weird Weather and NHL Hockey!


Recommended Posts

Here in central Ontario, early this morning, a full Lunar eclipse brought with it a terrible partner - a mid-April snowstorm. Temperatures sit around -2 C, but it also brought 5-10cm of snow and ice, depending on where you live.

The immediate and horrifying consequence is to the natural equilibrium of the endangered species known as the "Toronto Maple Leaf." This species, for decades now, typically plays bad hockey through the winter, and then plays golf shortly after the equinox arrives. Already, Maple Leafs are migrating south to the Carolinas so they can get in the golf essential to their survival.

The cold weather is travelling east, and should hit the city of Montréal by Wednesday, when the playoffs start. Now, there may not be any precipitation in Montréal, but the weather will still feel like winter. My concern, is to the diminutive creature known as the Danny Briere. Typically, the Briere hibernates through the winter, but wakes up with a voracious goal-scoring hunger when spring arrives. This year, the cold weather may cause the Briere to extend its hibernation, with devastating effects to its biome, le Club d'Hockey Canadien. My only hope is that by opening its playoff series in Tampa Bay, it may trick the Briere into awakening on time, despite the climate instability.

Edited by Jeff Price (no relation)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The immediate and horrifying consequence is to the natural equilibrium of the endangered species known as the "Toronto Maple Leaf." This species, for decades now, typically plays bad hockey through the winter, and then plays golf shortly after the equinox arrives. Already, Maple Leafs are migrating south to the Carolinas so they can get in the golf essential to their survival.

I wouldn't be too worried about the "endangered" maple leaf either. I've heard that they have this amazing adaptation, a hypnotic one. They lure their prey (the harmless fan) for an entire year, and then when nothing can possibly go wrong, they implode and disappear. After rounding the fans up for years, they feed on the dead with minimal energy expended. Most people think the maple leaf is a plant, but it is actually a fungus! A common folk tale of this hypnotic adaptation is that the fans can often be heard saying "maybe next year"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...