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TheAussiePosse

Hockey jokes

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Ever wondered what a coach really means when he uses the same 'code' words every week?

Copied from the THF:

Here's a list of the most common "code" phrases used by coaches, and what they really mean!:

Code: He's a role player.

Translation: We think he can play a role, we just haven't figure out what that role is yet.

Code: He's a "character" guy.

Translation: He makes us laugh, tells jokes and does impressions.

Code: He's good in the room.

Translation: We should leave him in the room because he's useless on the ice.

Code: He brings intangibles.

Translation: We're not sure what he brings to the team.

Code: He's a competitor.

Translation: He competes every night, he just doesn't win very often.

Code: He's gritty.

Translation: He needs a bath.

Code: He's hard-nosed.

Translation: He's dumb enough to lead with his face.

Code: He's good in the corners.

Translation: He belongs in the corner -- with a dunce cap on.

Code: He gives us physical presence.

Translation: He takes up space.

Code: He's a technically-sound goalie.

Translation: His reflexes are lousy.

Code: He's a reflex goalie.

Translation: He hasn't got a clue how to play the angles.

Code: He's a power-play specialist.

Translation: I like having an extra man out there to cover up for his screw-ups.

Code: He's a stay-at-home defenseman.

Translation: He can't skate and carry the puck at the same time.

Code: He's an offensive defenseman.

Translation: He can't play defense.

Code: He adds toughness.

Translation: He's here for two shifts a night and start fights on both of them.

Code: He's an all-round player.

Translation: He doesn't do anything particularly well.

Code: He's feisty.

Translation: He chirps at the opposition and takes dumb penalties at crucial times.

Code: He's got experience.

Translation: He's lost with better teams.

Code: He has tremendous upside.

Translation: He can't get any worse.

Code: He's a "project".

Translation: This guy was abandoned in the jungle as a small boy and taught to play hockey

by the family of gorillas who adopted him. And I'm supposed to coach this?

Code: He's a grinder.

Translation: It's 50-50 he'll miss an empty net from three feet.

Code: He's got good work ethic.

Translation: He works hard but accomplishes little.

Code: He's a playmaker.

Translation: He had better pass because he shoots like my grandmother.........

Code: We've got good chemistry.

Translation: We may be lousy but we all get along.

Code: We're rebuilding.

Translation: We stink this year and we probably will the year after that too

Code: We're shaking up the lines to add offense

Translation: I'm pulling names out of a hat and hoping it works.

Code: We're letting him see the game from above so he can learn.

Translation: He pissed me off so much the last game I want him as far away from me as possible

Code: We only had a few bright spots tonight

Translation: I watched my career as a coach go down the crapper

Code: Things are turning around for us now

Translation: We don't suck as much as before and I can keep my dinner down watching these losers

Code: He's our star

Translation: He can actually play hockey

Code: We don't want to rush him

Translation: He sucks

Code: We played undisciplined hockey

Translation: The ref sucked

Code: We were not as good as we should be

Translation: How can these high school dropouts get paid millions for that crap they spewed on the ice tonight?

Code: We need to work harder

Translation: No all night benders the night before the next game.

Code: I am in the best shape of my career

Translation: I have a no trade clause in my contract

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