~ You wanna laff ~

[~moeman]

WARNING: this is probably the funniest/saddest/blowjobbingest article you'll ever read. Put your Depends on and enoy this mind-numbing shillpiece of leaf fellation;

http://146.145.120.3/default.asp?c=sportsn.../mapleleafs.htm

[shortcat1]

Wow! I read it (had to click the 'The Sports Network' icon on the top left corner and then follow the links to the article).

I have to confess that, for the last 45 years, I've been misled. Sorry guys, I have to leave you... I have seen the light, I have found the truth. So, good bye and may your eyes be opened to the reality of it all....

[Capt.Crunch]

Lol.

Don't worry, its just a cut and paste article by The Hockey News on the Leafs.

If you want a pretty discussion on the Habs preview:

http://www.habsworld.net/forum/viewthread....tid=3584&page=1

Wanna see the original THN article?

Look here. Hehe.

I wont take time to comment on the leafs description... Its just too biased.

:eyes:

[Capt.Crunch]

Sorry about that, its actually a sportsnetwork description run by thn.

Same with the habs article.

[Edited on 2005/9/30 by Capt.Crunch]

[JLP]

"Nobody likes to play against the Maple Leafs, who are big, tough, nasty, and love every minute of it. Just as an opposing forward regains his breath after a butt-end to the throat from Darcy Tucker, an elbow to the face from Tie Domi is waiting for him in the neutral zone."

Wow -- an open endorsement, celebration even, of cheap shot tactics -- welcome to Leaf Nation!

"If the lockout had never happened and that roster was still intact, it would be hard not to pick Toronto as a top contender in the Eastern Conference."

Ah, the "if" factor, and excuses, yes, this is Leaf Nation!

"health...has been a constant issue that the ultra- talented but enigmatic Lindros has not been able to shake. The key here is quite obviously a strong helmet"

Now why didn't the Flyers and Rangers think of that?

"Ferguson did a better job than most in the league-wide paradigm shift to younger, faster and cheaper."

umm, Hello?

Well, let it be said that thanks to this article everyone can see the Leafs and Tor-centric hockey media for what they are!

[Edited on 30-9-05 by JeanLucPilon]

[shortcat1]

If you'd like to contact them (for what it's worth...), the email address is:

comments@sportsnetwork.com

[Trizzak]

Hey, give the writer some credit!

He somehow managed to write an article while jerking off John Ferguson Jr.

[Leafs Suck]

"Toronto is a very good hockey team"

Based on what? The team barley gets out of the first round, looses half it's roster, signs Zeppelinhead and Whiplash, their goalie is a few years away from living in a retirement home and they're a "very good hockey team"?

These clowns also ranked the Habs as a C- and have Bobo NO credit for turning the greatest franchise in sports around.

BTW, I couldn't get the link to work for the main topic but from the sounds of it thats a good thing.

[~moeman]

Out of sight, out of mind. That could be the deadliest phrase that the National Hockey League brass faces this season, as professional puck at the highest level returns to the ice following a 10-month lockout that erased an entire season and put the future of the sport in jeopardy.

The difference in the city of Toronto is that hockey is never out of any mind. While fans in most other NHL cities found alternatives to replace time spent following the sport, someone forget to tell Leaf Nation. During the grueling days of the work stoppage, even the most insignificant piece of news was magnified. This is a country that broke into its prime time television programming when the labor agreement was finally reached, and in this the most fervent hockey city in the land (sorry, Montreal), not even The Friars Club Roast of Don Cherry was off limits.

So as the gauze comes off and the new NHL is set to open, the Maple Leafs will try once again to end their 38-year Stanley Cup drought. The last time this city took a sip from the Grail, the Original Six were the only six teams in the league and man had yet to land on the moon.

Over the last half-decade, this club has had the talent to win it all - that is undisputed. When head coach Pat Quinn, who received a contract extension in June, looked up and down his bench over the recent past, the sweaters he scanned have read last names such as (Mats) Sundin, (Gary) Roberts, (Owen) Nolan, (Ron) Francis, (Mikael) Renberg, (Joe) Nieuwendyk, (Shayne) Corson, (Nik) Antropov, (Alexander) Mogilny, (Bryan) McCabe and (Brian) Leetch among others.

Due to several factors including retirement, injuries, and the salary cap, most of those players have now scattered. However, due to a series of events that includes an arbitrator named Bertuzzi and a now-retired defenseman named Stevens, Quinn will have a new big name to play with. Homegrown center Eric Lindros signed a one-year deal and will wear the jersey that he grew up idolizing.

Although the roster and payroll size have changed since they last played, the mantra of this team will not. Nobody likes to play against the Maple Leafs, who are big, tough, nasty, and love every minute of it. Just as an opposing forward regains his breath after a butt-end to the throat from Darcy Tucker, an elbow to the face from Tie Domi is waiting for him in the neutral zone.

Their toughness, however, has also doubled as their downfall over the past two playoff seasons, both of which were ended by the slightly tougher Philadelphia Flyers. Those two grueling series, which combined included 13 games and eight overtime periods, showcased some of the most exciting physical hockey this side of Rendez-Vous '87.

While it certainly didn't help that it took seven games to get past rival Ottawa in the opening round, Toronto's most recent playoff exile was devastating to a team that was financially built to win at that time. If the lockout had never happened and that roster was still intact, it would be hard not to pick Toronto as a top contender in the Eastern Conference. But the reality is that the league's new economies of scale have forced the Leafs into a partial makeover, one which on paper makes them a bit less intimidating.

ON THE ATTACK

When Lindros was healthy and firing on all cylinders in the mid-to- late 1990s, he was the best player in hockey. Jaromir Jagr was the best scorer, Peter Forsberg was the best passer, Steve Yzerman was the best face- off man and Peter Worrell was the best fighter. Combine all of those talents into one 6-foot-4, 240-pounder with an attitude, and that was Lindros.

But as both the Flyers and New York Rangers found out, his health, not to mention his interfering parents, has been a constant issue that the ultra- talented but enigmatic Lindros has not been able to shake. The key here is quite obviously a strong helmet, because when and if Lindros participates in the next game in which another concussion is sustained, it will be his last.

Sundin is smooth as silk. Watching him play the game is so enjoyable because he is always in the right place at the right time. In the last NHL season, he recorded 31 goals and 75 points. The former first-overall pick is now 34, but can still skate with anybody and certainly has at least two seasons remaining of playing at the highest level to cement his place in the Hall of Fame.

Any team that is able to put Jason Allison on the ice as its third-line centerman has little to complain about. However, the 30-year-old former LA King has not played a full season since the 2001-2002 campaign and must prove that he has overcame the numerous injures that have hampered him for the past several years. Allison provides serious depth down the middle and allows Antropov to play at both positions along the forward line.

Speaking of Antropov, he is among the solid group of wingers that also includes stalwarts Tucker and Domi, but the big story here is newcomer Jeff O'Neill. Stuck in NHL Siberia (read: the Carolina franchise) for his entire career, O'Neill finally has the proper means of exposure to show why he is one of the most underrated forwards in the league.

For every detractor who claims that O'Neill's plus-minus rating is too much of a defensive risk, his goals-per-season of 28 since 1999 should be underlined and bolded. To put it nicely, the Hurricanes were not a great defensive team to begin with, so playing with a more talented group in Toronto should allow O'Neill the positive ink he deserves.

Another addition to the forward line that has gone unnoticed but could provide major results is winger Mariusz Czerkawski, who boasts four 25-plus goal campaigns on his resume -- and that was when mauling was still legal in this league. If Quinn can come up with an effective tandem to place Czerkawski with, 40 goals is possible.

ON DEFENSE

The jewel of Toronto's defense is actually a two-pronged gem, as McCabe and Tomas Kaberle form an envious 1-2 punch along the blue line. McCabe took a brief back seat to Leetch, but now re-emerges as the star blueliner that every club tries so desperately to obtain.

The 30-year-old McCabe is well aware that the Leafs will not succeed if he is not on top of his game. Since the turn of the millennium, McCabe's stock has been on the rise and he delivered his best overall season in 2003-04, when he tallied 16 goals and 37 assists to go along with a plus-22 rating.

It took Kaberle a bit longer to come of age than the team had hoped, but the dividends continued to pay off over the last two seasons, which have validated general manager John Ferguson's reluctance to package Kaberle in a previously- discussed Lindros trade.

Forget that he produced his lowest offensive numbers since his rookie season one year after finishing ninth among defensemen in points, Kaberle excelled in 2003-04 in the skill he is most paid to do - defense. Kaberle, who has never been spotted making an ill-advised breakout pass, is very strong on the power play and a rock that Quinn knows he can always count on.

Another veteran presence along the back line is Ken Klee. One of the most popular players in the locker room, Klee avoids a body check about as often as Domi spouts kind words to the opposing enforcer. There will never be a speed skating contest that the native of Indianapolis will win, but deep in the third period of a close game, Klee will undoubtedly make the right decision.

The key offseason signings were not limited to the offense and the proof is exhibited in Alexander Khavanov. This 6-foot-2 Russian was brought in to fill his void left by Leetch, and although he will never spell the future Hall of Famer, he does provides a portion of the skill set that Leetch brought to the table. Khavanov gets the puck out of the defensive end in a hurry with crisp passing and is able to see the entire ice with the best of them.

Unfortunately for the Leafs, that is where the good news comes to a halt. There are six defensemen on an NHL roster, so somebody has to take up space and it happens to be Aki Berg on this team. Berg, who will likely be paired with Brad Brown, fails to excel in any one area of the game and when one of the top four are injured, his ordinary play could be a liability.

IN THE CREASE

Minding the net once again is Ed Belfour, who turned 40 in April. It is hard to argue against the veteran after his 2003-04 season included 34 wins and a 2.13 goals-against average. However, the juxtaposition of a back injury and his advanced age makes for an uncertain future. The year off, though, was the absolute best thing that could have happened to "The Eagle," who will most likely squeeze out one more very solid season before he hangs up the pads for good.

After the Pittsburgh Penguins unsuccessfully tried to make Jean-Sebastian Aubin their goaltender of the future, they turned to another youngster with a hyphenated name and the former became expendable. The plan is for Belfour to mentor Aubin and groom him for the eventual takeover, but there are many doubters who question whether Aubin possesses the mental toughness to survive in this hockey tabloid town.

WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE

This team was set for another three-year run at the Cup with a core of aging veterans that knew what it took to win, but a good portion of that high-priced talent was forced to the cutting room floor. While Lindros, Czerkawski, Allison and Khavanov are not exactly Francis, Nieuwendyk, Mogilny and Leetch, the revamped nucleus is very solid.

Toronto is a very good hockey team, but the Eastern Conference has three teams that are slightly better. Recent playoff nemesis Philadelphia enjoyed the best offseason in hockey, the Ottawa Senators lost practically nothing from the most talented roster on the planet, and as long as New Jersey goaltender Marty Brodeur is breathing, the Devils will never be counted out.

A season-long battle in a tough division will prove to be too much due to a lack of overall depth that will ultimately prevent the Leafs from making serious noise in the playoffs. However, Ferguson did a better job than most in the league-wide paradigm shift to younger, faster and cheaper. Top prospects Kyle Wellwood and David Ling will eventually make their way onto the roster and once they have a season under their belts, will become the focal point of this team for 2006-07 and beyond.

[hankhab]

Man, who writes this garbage? I really can't believe that anyone who has watched a hockey game could write that stuff...celebrating the dirty play of Tucker and Domi, then calling the 2 of them Stalwarts? What? He praises Antropov, who, even in the eyes of my jaded leaf loving friends, is a hopeless waste of ice time. He then is critical of Carolina, who he forgets went to the finals a few years ago, a feat which his team hasn't accomplished in quite some time. Mccabe is the star blueliner every team want sot attain? In who's dreams? Kaberle excelling at defense? Not when I've watched him play. How do these writers find work?

[Leafs Suck]

He obviously doesn't know a thing about hockey. This is proof:

"validated general manager John Ferguson's reluctance to package Kaberle in a previously- discussed Lindros trade"

I didn't know Jr was the GM 5 years ago?

[Leafs Suck]

And David Ling becoming the focual point of the team in 07 and beyond? WTF?

Even Leaf fans aren't that dumb.

[TheMaxDaddy]

> Top prospects Kyle Wellwood and <i>David Ling</i>.

This guy must be an idiot. David Ling is a 30 year old <i>former</i> Habs prospect who scored 88 pts for the AHL Leafs last year. Of course, if he's really one of the best prospects the Leafs have, then anyone thinking the Leafs have much of a future is an idiot.

[casseau]

"If Quinn can come up with an effective tandem to place Czerkawski with, 40 goals is possible."

If he gets 20 I'll eat my jock.

[TheMaxDaddy]

Actually, what I think is really funny, is how pathetic The Hockey News' web site is. They're part of Transcontinental Media and I assume they have a decent budget their online edition, yet HabsWorld a community maintained site, blows theirs away.

An I hope they don't fix it. This way, most casual hockey fans will be turned off by their unnavigable site and not read the moronic drivel they publish.

[Leafs Suck]

The guy is probably a very causal hockey fan who looks at stats to determine how good a player is.

"Czerkawski scored 35 five years ago. If he plays with the greatest player in hockey history Mats Sundin he should definitely get 40"

[TruthMonger]

Originally posted by TheMaxDaddy

> Top prospects Kyle Wellwood and <i>David Ling</i>.

This guy must be an idiot. David Ling is a 30 year old <i>former</i> Habs prospect who scored 88 pts for the AHL Leafs last year. Of course, if he's really one of the best prospects the Leafs have, then anyone thinking the Leafs have much of a future is an idiot.

Hey, where's the love for David Ling? Sure, he's in his 30's and some may say last year's AHL success was a fluke, but he's only half a decade removed from a 35 goal performance with the Kansas City Blades of the IHL, and he managed to net an impressive 4 goals in only 90 games with the Columbus Blue Jackets. I think we're seeing the next Gretzky here...

[Edited on 2005/9/30 by TruthMonger]

[Howie_Morenz]

And the T-DOT radio stations pick this crap up and run with it. Man are they pathetic here.

I for one believe in my heart that the Anonymus Leaf fan with the Brown Paper bag over their heads will be back this year.

[Leafs Suck]

Who in the Leafarazzi was talkin about this Howie?

Let me guess, LeafsLunch with Bill The Racist?

[Howie_Morenz]

Howard Berger and his Fan590 Leaf cronies (morning show) all talk about how deep the Leafs are at centre. How Wellwood and the rest of the young guys show the JFJ plan to get young (even though Marchment and Thomas were in camp). 680 news snippits with Bill (Although he is a bit critical of them too) in how the young guys are so great like Steen and Wellwood.

"Speaking of Antropov, he is among the solid group of wingers that also includes stalwarts Tucker and Domi, but the big story here is newcomer Jeff O'Neill." I have heard this so many times I am going to be sick. This is a standard line by the hosts of all the shows it is just WRONG! Only Tucker would have a shot at the Habs roster because he can score if given the opportunity to play on a good line.

"Another addition to the forward line that has gone unnoticed but could provide major results is winger Mariusz Czerkawski, who boasts four 25-plus goal campaigns on his resume -- and that was when mauling was still legal in this league." Hahahahaha are they going to be dissapointed with this useless player when his +/- encroaches bad numbers.

"The jewel of Toronto's defense is actually a two-pronged gem, as McCabe and Tomas Kaberle form an envious 1-2 punch along the blue line." This should be 5-6 as they would not even be Montreals 1-2. Souray Markov much better players with the puck.

"Minding the net once again is Ed Belfour, who turned 40 in April. It is hard to argue against the veteran after his 2003-04 season included 34 wins and a 2.13 goals-against average." He stinks! He lost to Philly and did not look good. Belfour always looks good during the season, then playoffs come along CHOKE.

This from the article has been written before and rehashed over and over and over and over...

[Leafs Suck]

Stelleck traded Courtnall for Kordic so what the hell does he know?

His side-kick? The guy who replaced Pat The bigot Marsden?

Berger is a fool.

[~moeman]

Can one of you cats thank me for posting this comedic crap?

[Howie_Morenz]

Originally posted by ~moeman

Can one of you cats thank me for posting this comedic crap?

All hail the ~moeman for torturing us. :bow::bow::bow:

Only kidding ~moeman, its good you brought this up as many on here probably ignore, or don't get the Toronto media in their area. (Oh how I envy those people)

The biggest Leaf Homer is the late night vampire on the Fan590 as he calls the Leafs "Gods Team". He says it in jest he has stated but he believes it to be true. Can you jinx your team any more then telling the Leaf flock "I am" favors one team over another?

So many interesting habs fans on this board!

[~moeman]

Thnx HM. I was just kidding. Ask my great Metro buds if I'm obsessed with slagging the devils work, the leaf, All in fun of course!!!

[~moeman]

BTW, HM brings up an important point. leaf lemmings believe this kinda crap (and I love it!)